SPEAK UP!!!
I've always been a complicated personality from close. From afar I may seem as every other normal girl laughing and .. laughing only(because that's only the thing I do 
).
Among other complications, my one problem is that I don't speak up to the people things that are going on in my mind which are concerned with them. These things actually make me a slave of anger and self-frustration.
If any of my friends are doing something wrong that I do not approve of, then I get angry by myself thinking that why in the world are they doing this, but I do not say anything to them about it.
Then again if I expect a few things from my friends(now I don't but I do hope for them) and they are not fulfilled then again I go into my weirdo mode.
While all this is happening, I do not actually say anything to them but I do show full signs which clearly indicate that I am disappointed or angry(in most cases) with them. My friends obviously are not so dumb that they won't catch the signs and then then do ask me if anything's wrong with me or anything they did to make me act that way. And to this I say a flat 'NO', saying that they haven't done anything wrong and it's not their fault.
Also the times I think that things are not going to change I do not say anything.
I wanted that or hoped that they'd understand. But after doing some self-psychoanalysis I came to the conclusion that whatever I wanted or was hoping for actually has no sense in itself.
You know, all this time all I did was keep mum every time such a situation occurred, leading both the parties in a state of misery. On one hand people are confused as to what they did wrong and thinking of possibilities for my abnormal behavior and on the other hand I am there, cursing myself as to why I didn't say anything to them and why won't they understand such a simple thing.
But as I said, it's not actually very complicated. It was me all the time that made it complicated and miserable for them as well as for me. I figured out that just saying things that are in your mind to the people concerned helps a lot. It might be the case that people think they have done nothing wrong. There may also be possibilities that even after saying things your friends take them lightly. But, the main thing here is first actually saying things that are in your mind. People won't understand things or your feelings unless you actually tell them. Just tell them clearly that you do not like some things in them and may be they'll change for the good. I am not saying that you go on telling people that you expect 'this or that' from them but then if at certain point your expectations are not fulfilled and you act the way I did, after people ask you what's wrong, tell them what is actually the reason for your sadness+anger.
Saying and clearing out a few things can actually make life simpler, rather than keeping it with yourself and I realized that not so long ago and I am happy that at least I figured out that I was wrong with something!
).Among other complications, my one problem is that I don't speak up to the people things that are going on in my mind which are concerned with them. These things actually make me a slave of anger and self-frustration.
If any of my friends are doing something wrong that I do not approve of, then I get angry by myself thinking that why in the world are they doing this, but I do not say anything to them about it.
Then again if I expect a few things from my friends(now I don't but I do hope for them) and they are not fulfilled then again I go into my weirdo mode.
While all this is happening, I do not actually say anything to them but I do show full signs which clearly indicate that I am disappointed or angry(in most cases) with them. My friends obviously are not so dumb that they won't catch the signs and then then do ask me if anything's wrong with me or anything they did to make me act that way. And to this I say a flat 'NO', saying that they haven't done anything wrong and it's not their fault.
Also the times I think that things are not going to change I do not say anything.
I wanted that or hoped that they'd understand. But after doing some self-psychoanalysis I came to the conclusion that whatever I wanted or was hoping for actually has no sense in itself.
You know, all this time all I did was keep mum every time such a situation occurred, leading both the parties in a state of misery. On one hand people are confused as to what they did wrong and thinking of possibilities for my abnormal behavior and on the other hand I am there, cursing myself as to why I didn't say anything to them and why won't they understand such a simple thing.
But as I said, it's not actually very complicated. It was me all the time that made it complicated and miserable for them as well as for me. I figured out that just saying things that are in your mind to the people concerned helps a lot. It might be the case that people think they have done nothing wrong. There may also be possibilities that even after saying things your friends take them lightly. But, the main thing here is first actually saying things that are in your mind. People won't understand things or your feelings unless you actually tell them. Just tell them clearly that you do not like some things in them and may be they'll change for the good. I am not saying that you go on telling people that you expect 'this or that' from them but then if at certain point your expectations are not fulfilled and you act the way I did, after people ask you what's wrong, tell them what is actually the reason for your sadness+anger.
Saying and clearing out a few things can actually make life simpler, rather than keeping it with yourself and I realized that not so long ago and I am happy that at least I figured out that I was wrong with something!
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