Wednesday, August 31, 2011


What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Is a phrase I am reminded of, when I'm caught in the middle of a crazy situation. Sometimes, no matter how happy-go-lucky sort of a person you are, life hits to you. And it is true that surviving such situation, adds another line in your palms and a 'bring it on' statement in your head.
When there are problems plaguing the personal arena, you will invest all your energies into work. You head will be full of 'Studies is my priority right now.' You will try as much to avoid home, social functions and calls on the pretext of 'I'm busy.' Secretly in your head you know your work was done long back, you just want to pretend to work so no one sees your miserable and vulnerable side. In such situations the anger element also starts reflecting more often.

But the worst of the situation is yet to be talked about. What about the days where crisis hits your personal and professional life. You went through a rough break up or fight with parents, tension at home or best friend's in trouble. Situations can be in numerous. Then of course things at college will not always be hunky dory and you are bound to go through 'Mam/sir in a bad mood'. studies not going up, not getting a rank. When both the segments of your life are in a soup, what do you do?

    Wish it was a bad dream and when you wake up it will all be fine.
    Look at your Jade lucky pendant and hope for its magic to rub off on you.
    Look at other happy people and wish that was your life.
    Wait for magic.

And then in the midst of it, think, when there is happy time, did you ever question that? Did you ever ask yourself why you deserve it? Then who gave you a right to say 'why me' now?

If you believe in it, it will happen. And as the saying goes, 'This too shall Pass.' So hang in there fellow 'deep in soup', you will learn to swim or drink the soup!


When you hit rock bottom in a deep sea, they say that's your signal and the only way from there is the way up. But what about the time you do not wish to swim up? What if you find your solace and comfort sitting on the bed of the sea? Maybe you have not given up on your life yet and maybe it is just where you want to be, momentarily.
It is an amazing thing created by God, the heart that is. It loves, learns, cries, forgives, hurts, and loves again. The power of endurance vested with this little blood pumping organ is just unbelievable. Even when it hurts, you can be rest assured you are normal. If your heart can be happy, it is allowed to get hurt too. But what if you belong to another category of people, where the hearts stops feeling anything. It wont be hurt, it won't hate, it is just dormant. It is numb.
So happiness will not affect it, tears brush past. Minutes, Hours, Days pass, it sits there, doing its functional job.
Is there a feeling greater than pain that puts your little organ on the threshold of committing such an act?
Then again, I choose to look up, sitting at the bedrock, and seeing the sun gleaming through the water. It is fine to sit in hibernation, as long as you like, but when you see that shark heading towards you and your heart throbs in fear, hold on to the feeling; give yourself the push and head up.
Sometimes that one feeling, even if it is fear, will make you feel alive again. Try once more, you may start feeling something.


Life has led to many roads,
Many crossed paths,
Some ran parallel.
The one that stood still at an intersection, brought me to you.
Time froze in the magic,
Seemed like life found a destination,
Emotions clouded the scene,
I could breathe, or was it sub conscious.
I longed to touch,
And though you seemed near,
The arms fell short of the distance.
Never fret dear, I told myself
Another day.
The warmth in the eyes,
Is what I needed to soak.
Except suddenly someone called tears were first to fill that place.
Go away I said, its not your day.
Sadly they don't obey,
I blink and you disappear.
Leaving me at the crossroads,
The directions help me with the confusion,
Perplexed, lost and deserted.
" Baby doll are you done with that gloomy poetry yet?"
I look up smile, and think to my self,
life brought me to the road where the destination is you.
All's sorted i guess!

Monday, August 29, 2011


Can you believe it? He says,
And smiles sheepishly.
Narrating to me an incident,
I look back and smile,
Not because of the incident,
But seeing the gleam in his eye.
The eyes had school boy innocence,
I could look into them for hours
And not flutter my eyes even once.
As he drives, paying attention to the road,
I steal glances at him,
Hoping he wouldn’t catch me red handed
Whoever said loves leads to insomnia,
Must have been on sleeping pills,
Because that was the case with me!
As much I was treasuring my time with him,
I would wish the time to stand still.
Even though the sun was high up in the sky,
The sun of this moment was about to set soon.
I wish this moment had just started,
A prayer of hope against hope,
As the car stops,
The engine goes off
The beauty of the silence is broken
By rain drops on the car,
Millions of rain drops,
Chatting with each other
As the gods above,
Clash their challis, causing thunderstorm
I look at him and say
‘This is it’, and bid adieu
And just before I go out,
I look back,
For that one school boy smile,
Those innocent eyes
Just one last time,
One last hug,
One last good bye,
One last promise,
Mercy god, one last moment.
Take care, he says,
I was hoping you would, I say to myself,
You too, I say
I walk out, destiny I say,
We were never meant to be,
As my footsteps match the rhythm of the rain drops,
I re-quote the quote,
I love walking in the rain, coz no one can see me crying.

Saturday, August 27, 2011


Father Never Understood...

Is it too painful to be true?
I just hugged my wings and flew...
Flew away to my own world
I walked away silently without a word
I looked into my father's eyes for the last time
He let me go and that's his crime
"Why daddy? Why didn't you care?"
"Do you see that life is not fair?"
Mother is sitting next to you crying her eyes out
you are the one she can't be without
why don't you calm down and try to understand
I'm drowning in my regrets; can you give me a hand? Well I think life is nothing more than pain
And the problem is that we can't complain Please just let me explain
I'm seeing your reflection in the mirror in front of me
the chains are hugging me, I guess I can't be free
"Is this is the last time I close my eyes?"
I think I deserve it because I believed all of your lies
you lied to me and you were good
you just yelled at me and never understood
"Right father? Why don't you just admit it?"
You are just afraid of crossing the limit
Well, sorry to tell you that but its too late
Now I'm all alone with no fate
Even death doesn't want me
I still don't know what's wrong with me
My hidden feelings are just too real
Pain is all my soul can feel
"what did I do to deserve this?"
"Could you be a little more careless?"
Now after I committed suicide
You can know why I just lied
Now I'm stuck in my own grave
I'm the girl who you wanted to save
But you missed your chance, that's too bad
Do you believe me now or you're just too mad
I'm nothing but ashes, I'm nothing but dust
Go and apologize maybe it will work out
Uh your so mean, sorry I forgot that
So now what will you do?
You Can't escape life...its just too true
I wish I even had a life
Don't you dare and leave your wife
Don't leave her with that knife in her soul
You will come back later and try to reach the hole
"But what happens if you fall?"
It's not her fault that you didn't call
so I guess that's it, it's the end of my dream
"Why do you shout...why do you scream?"
Maybe you will appreciate life when you lose it
I lost my life because I just didn't fit in
I have always been different from the others
Now they are all books with their covers
But my cover is lost, maybe in tears
"Could you find it for me please?"
If you find it try to close my book
but try not to take a look
there's some stories that I wrote
"No its not about you, is that what you thought?"
Its kind of private the words I say
Try to close your eyes and just pray
Maybe I will wake up in May
On this bloody floor I used to lay
Now I'm gone holding your word in my mind
I'm sorry for all the promises you couldn't find...


It was a Friday evening, my brother, my mother and I were chatting. Just then, I realised that my gold locket was missing. I got up and checked everywhere but I could not find it. I was wondering how to disclose it, but after gathering courage I yelled that my locket was missing. I finished my sentence and a hundred questions poured on me, but I could not answer any.
My brother and mother started searching every corner of the house. I was thinking how I would face my father who was about to come home any time.At last he came. Seeing him I go very scared. The moment he saw me he asked me what the matter was. My mother told him about the lost locket. I closed my eyes ready to listen to the scolding. But I was totally wrong. Instead my father came near me and kept his hands on my shoulders and very calmly said, "Don't be sad for such small matters. You should not worry but try to face the problem. By worrying or by getting nervous you won't get it back." By seeing his tenderness I broke down to tears. I did not know how to react.
My father rubbed my tears and comforted me. Just then Omair my brother found the locket under the table. I was really over enjoyed. At this my dad said that he has earned it with a lot of hard work so it will not get lost that easily. I was moved by this.
By this incident I learned two lessons of my life. Firstly never cry over spilled milk but accept the fact. Secondly always be honest in your deed, in the long run only the honesty will glitter. We have heard and read this many times but my dad practised what others preached. He is great.
It was not the matter of one locket but that little thing changed my life to a great extent. If my father would have scolded me I would have forgotten it long back. But due to his understanding and tenderness this little incident will be evergreen in my memory.
I would like to thank god who gave me such wonderful parents whom I love and respect and would wish that in every life I get such understanding and loving parents.

Friday, August 26, 2011


“The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai)”

Our mothers are no doubt the most significant women in our lives. She gave birth to us and endured so much pain during the birthing process, breastfed us, raised us and loved us regardless of how many times we upset, disappointed or made her angry. The years of mistreatment that we’ve given our mothers would never be tolerated by anybody else but masha’Allah, Allah gave her never-ending mercy. Our mothers are gentle, kind, loving, caring, strong, tough, motivating and passionate towards their children. Have you ever seen anyone with such a mixture of attributes?

Sadly, at times we don’t appreciate her efforts. For example, we may mistake her pushing us to do well educationally as her being mean or harsh against you. Not appreciating our mothers efforts can turn the mother-daughter relationship completely upside down. Especially during teenage years. The letter below describes what many sisters are feeling:

As Salamualeikom,

When I was a teenager, I never had a good relationship with my mom. She came here when she was a lot older and she came with a different set of morals and standards. She’s never understood how hard it is for me to grow up as a Muslim female in this society so I tried to do everything right by listening to her but at the same time I just wanted to be a normal teenager. 

When my mom was younger, she was not a practicing Muslim and she’s done a lot worse than I have. I understand that she wouldn’t want me to make the same mistakes as her but, when I make the smallest mistake she gets extremely upset. Those mistakes are nothing compared to hers. 

There were times that I was a very bad daughter. I would shout and argue, lie to her and sneak off to go to bad places. I regret them now but, the way my mom would deal with it was to threaten to send me back home, say she hated me and never give me affection. The day she told me that she hated me, I completely lost all faith in her. She says she told me that because she wanted me to be stronger but I don’t believe that would make me stronger. It just made my self-esteem go down. She prefers my brothers to me, she never pushes them as much as she does with me. I try so hard at school, home and I have friends that she likes but she never seems pleased or proud of me. I just want her to be proud of me.

When I’m at my friends houses, they’re so nice with their moms. They can kiss them, hug them, talk with them about anything but I can’t with my mom. I only talk to her when she needs something or to inform her about something. I barely hug or kiss her. I spent time away from home on holiday and when I called her, we never had a decent conversation. I try but it doesn’t work. 

I’m getting to the age where I’m probably going to get married within a few years and I desperately want to build a relationship with my mother before I leave home. How can I considering that we’ve had so many problems in the past?

Reading this broke my heart into little pieces that I almost cried. When moving on from the teenage years, it’s so hard to move on from the hurt, lies, trials and pain that were involved in our relationships with our mothers. The sister’s relationship with her mother is a classic example of the relationship’s that most young women are having with their mothers. A lot of us aren’t from the West so our mothers came from their home countries with a totally different upbringing than expected here in the West. With that upbringing comes a different set of ideas about parenting. Being a introvert, I’ve noticed that it’s perfectly normal for a mother to not be too ‘lovey-dovey’ with their daughters as people tend to assume that it makes the daughter too soft, weak and unable to protect herself. women are expected to be tough so how will she become tough if she’s cuddled and kissed all of the time? What we need to do as daughters, is to realise that all that our mothers are doing is trying to raise us how they, were raised. At times, it may be wrong, but just be patient with her.

A very important thing to do is to talk. Talk! Sit down, talk to your mother about everything. Your worries, troubles and open up to her about what you feel is wrong with your relationship. You won’t move on from the past if you don’t talk about it to your mother so, move on by talking! Be honest, there’s no point in holding back. Encourage her to be honest too. Ask her what she expects of you, what she’s seen from you so far and make suggestions together about things that’ll build your relationship. Maybe it could be to spend time alone once a week and just have a cup of tea and talk, or maybe even therapy sessions. Involving your mother will be the best thing in order to fix your relationship.

If you can, get another family member on board. Your father, brother, uncle, sister or aunt could be the unbiased mediator between the conflicts and would be the one to lay out wrong or right. Both we and our mothers can be a bit hotheaded in arguments and think that we’re right when we’re not, so getting someone to put you in your place will help to address where you and your mother are going wrong in your relationship. Believe it or not, our mothers are in the wrong at times so, hopefully that mediator will help her to realise it!

We’ll always be babies to our mother, regardless of how many children we have ourselves, whether we’re married, in university or just finished school. She knows that you’re growing but, she doesn’t want the child that she, nobody else, carried for 9 months to be hurt. Especially when she’s made mistakes of her own. Don’t be silly enough to know that she’s made mistakes and to not learn from them. It’s not worth making those same mistakes yourself. Your mother is an oyster of wisdom so everything she’s keeping you away from is for your own good. Not hers.

I hope the sister does patch up things with her mother, they both deserve to.

May Allah give our mothers the highest station of Jannah. May they be successes in this life and in the Hereafter, give them happiness, love, joy and peace and allow them to see their children the way she envisioned and hoped for them. May Allah give all of our dead mothers Jannah. May He make their graves wide, fill them with light, forgive them, be gentle and merciful on our mothers and give them the best. May Allah do the same for when our alive mothers die. Ameen.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, abuse you and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. Someone who you trust without question because they have never given you any reason not to trust them. Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice themself for you. 

A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower

 I don't care how much money you make, where you live, what you drive, whether you're fat or thin, tall or short, beautiful or average, rich or poor, or what faith you are. If you're my friend, you're my friend. I accept you for who you are, and that's all that counts


A while ago in science class, we had a very interesting conversation about the Creationism and the Evolution theory of mankind (and womenkind). Our teacher told us that although both theories are polar opposites of each other, he personally believed that a little bit of both were at work at the same time, simply because both theories are right in their own way.

NOTE: Mr.ScienceTeacher and I are both atheists, however, we both regard religion highly (my teacher comes from a religious background, and I myself was brought up to keep an open mind, plus, I love to read different "holy books" if you will say that) and thus, this post is in no way trying to brainwash or disagree with those who strongly believe in only Creationism or Evolution. Please accept our sincere apologies beforehand if this post offends you (or your religion) in any way.

Picture this:

God created something, which he named "man". From the something, God created something else, which he named "woman". God puts this "man" and this "woman" together in this place which he calls a "garden", and tells them to get along with each other. God also created many other things to keep "man" and "woman" company, and one of them He named "snake". While God wasn't looking, "snake" tricked "man" and "women" into thinking that "snake" was nice and innocent, and as a result both "man" and "woman" were banned from the "garden".

Now picture this.
Time created something, which he named "cell1". From the something, Time created something else, which he named "cell2". Time puts this "cell1" and this "cell2" together in this place which he calls a "planet", and tells them to get along with each other (split into more cells). Time also created many other things to keep "cell1" and "cell2" company, and one of them He named "virus". While Time wasn't looking, "virus" tricked "cell1" and "cell2" into thinking that "virus" was nice and innocent, and as a result both "cell1" and "cell2" were banned from the "planet" (cell1 and cell2 disappeared from the Earth because they changed into cell3 and cell4, and evolution continues).
Sounds familiar?
Both Creation and Evolution can be roughly touched upon by changing the names of those involved. The name is not important, but by simply changing this name, we get a history full of endless fights and debates over something that technically can possibly be the exact same thing. All of a sudden, these heated arguments between the islamic debators and the science professors become loving bickering between the parents of a newborn regarding if the child in question should be named Lucy or Lucie.
Of course, this is just one example with one religion, but if you care to try it with your own, I'm sure results will be similar.

If you think about it, both Creationism and Evolutionism has their loopholes and unanswered questions. Its possible that both the Theory of Creation and the Theory of Evolution meant one huge thing. For example, take some time to think about this:

How Long does it Take to Create the World?
In one religion, it is believed to have taken God 6 days to create the world and everything in it. However, is that six 24hour days? Even on Earth, the length of a day has changed from around 8 hours (in dinosaur time) to our current 24 hours, and will doubtlessly continue to change. Is God following our time, or is God using a differently timed watch? Is it possible that, to God, a day is the equivalent of millions of our years? Is it possible that the "creation time" isn't over yet? Are we still being created? Is that why our climate is changing, our species evolving, our astronauts finding new stars and planets? Is that why we're evolving?

God / Evolution Created Man?

What IS Man? There's been many different types of "man" that have already been found by scientists and historians, and there are doubtlessly many more to be found. Which one did God create? Perhaps, back in the old days, "man" = atom, and then evolution turned us into what we currently look like, over millions of years?

How do we Explain...?

The Big Bang theory? The evolution of mankind? Ice Ages? Climate Change? Some of our questions about our world can be "explained" by things we think we understand. Climate change is due to the Sun's radiation change, and it happens regularly every few million years. Evolution happens because we realize the old needs to be changed for us to become better. Do we REALLY know the answer? Why does the Sun change? Why do we need to change ourselves? And how did the Big Bang start? What's the reason? Is there a higher power?

If you think long enough, maybe you'll start to realize that somewhere in the back, hidden in the shadows of Mankind's "theories" and "knowledge", there was someone there all along, nudging us along the path of life. Neither theory can explain fully how we come to be. Both theories are vague, can be interpreted in many ways, and makes great Debating topics.

Personally, I think a little of both was involved.

And who knows, maybe our silent prayers never are heard and acknowledged. Just like the tree falling in the forest. If no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Isn't life exciting?

What do you think? Which theory do you lean more towards?


Fear…….is when my breath is taken away
when i see darkness comes out from inside
when i can’t cry or shout
when everything is silent and i’m on my own
when i want to turn all the lights on
but fear freezes me,i can’t go on
assurance…… when i feel my lil bro beside me
kicking me and hitting me
when i feel that the words that i utter
to calm myself down makes me the strong girl ever
Knowing that God is watching over me
He will always be there for me
He know what i go through
assurance…..when i can hold on
because tomorrow is a brand new day
and everything gonna be okay
i feel that i can win
No more Nightmares at the Night or fights to lose
Becoz i believe deep inside
what doesn’t Kill me makes me stronger :) :) : )

Friday, August 19, 2011


"When someone dies it is normal to feel some grief at the sense of loss. And that's the point. We grieve because we have lost the future benefit of how that person made us feel and how our egos always benefited from that. A man says, "I grieve deeply because I feel deeply." Sounds good but it is the ego talking. When you lose the ego stroking that the deceased provided your ego, feels a sense of loss because the ego exists in the past and future. To stay in the present without creating scenarios of loneliness without the loved one, is to grieve minimally realizing that death is part of life and a transition, not an end. Detach with love and accept what is, and the grieving will take on a more real dimension. "  
"How do I deal with my grief, immeasurable beyond belief? Then again, I'm feeling fine. Man may be mortal, but God is divine."