Wednesday, March 28, 2012

FOR SMILE I SMILE

A glass of water

dropped, broken, spilt,

I dreamt tonight

of you

and a few others

hanging on every word

that flowed from my mouth.

I sang,

the tune that lived forever inside.

A smile safe in every line -

and you stood

against the door,

riveted,

reflecting that very smile.

FRIEND

What would you do without them?  I don’t have many friends, because the fact is that we call friends to everyone and not everyone deserves the title. A friend is a person you know it won’t judge you no matter what, who will support you and understand you when even you don’t understand yourself. There are lot of definitions of friends but in my opinion we don’t need so much adjectives, friend is simple is acceptation, we look for friends because we don’t want to be alone, because even when we have boyfriends/ girlfriends and family we still need someone there who love us for different ways. There are not family but is like they are, they are not bf/gf but still love us and care about us. So friends are pretty big deal you know, I mean is good stuff. I’m glad to have someone who I can share my secrets.


But sometimes we have a friend even when we don’t know it, someone who is there and catch our back. Sometimes a friend is in our house, in the silent waiting to help us in a moment of need. Just sometimes a friend is there without calling our attention just looking us to be happy.

FAITH

I have faith. Against all logic, against all the bad things that can and have happened in life I still have the hope that things will improve, things will change because what If we wouldn't have the faith that things will go right someday, what's left for all of us if we don't have the faith and hope that the things we have endure and suffer won't worth something in life... It does worth, it makes us stronger so, that when actual happiness knocks our door we can open it and feel ready to take the next storm that comes along and knowing that we've survive what seems so impossible to overcome, that it's a gift of life, so after that, we won't feel afraid to feel, to live and to love. Because we know there's so little chances in life to be real happy and put all the suffer behind and actually bring something good of a bad experiences. That's why it is so important to keep the faith, because after all that's all we have left.

LOVE IS.....


"Love is..." is a famous comic strip created by New Zealand artist Kim Grove in the late 1960s. Later they were produced by Stefano Casali. These ubber cute series  began as a series of little love notes that Kim Grove drew for her future husband, Roberto Casali. Kim Casali died in June 1997. Since then, her son Stefano Casali has maintained the strip although it is always shown as "by Kim Casali" and signed "Kim" instead of Stefano. 
































"Love Is... being able to say you're sorry!"
What do you think?

LIFE PARTNERS; SO YOU ARE IN IT FOR LIFE!


Women are to be treated as queens. Any man is not a man till he understands and accepts that his respect is due to all the women around him, especially when it comes to his wife. 


A wife is every thing from your best friend to your life partner, but make sure you give her the due position and respect she deserves. First and foremost of her rights is love and respect, without condition.

Love her, accept her, help her into her new life with you, and she will surprise you with the way she loves you back. Love her unconditionally, for she leaves her family, friends and her whole life and steps into yours to start a new one, just with you. Do not underestimate any sacrifice she makes for you.

Love her when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.

Love her when she "pushes" you to pray. She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).


Love her when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not "make" them on her own.


Love her when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you.


Love her when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.


Love her when her cooking is bad. She tries.


Love her when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.


Love her when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.


Love her when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.


Love her when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, just tell her its going to be okay.


Love her when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and back and just chat to her (trust me this works!)


Love her when whatever you do is not pleasing her. It happens to every one once in a while and hers will pass too.


Love her when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.


Love her simply because she is yours. You don't need any other reason more special than that!

Monday, March 26, 2012

FAIRNESS VS LOVE

Who wins in the end when a story ends?
Is that true that the first one to get back in the game, the first one to fall in love again or to simply fall in a relationship is the winning one?

Is that true that there is an unspoken rule between exes, 'who will die miserable?', meaning that who finds someone first and gets back in the love game is the winning one in the competition? Is there really a competition?


And can it be true that who wins this competition is also the one who got the right approach to the break-up and to the story itself? Is that possible that if you don't find anyone 'right' before the other person does, that means that you deserve it less or that you were the one to blame or that you got all wrong and that you are tangled in some perception of your past story that is completely wrong?


Is there a winner when two persons break up, or are they both losers with respect to whatever they used to have and don't have anymore and to what they will never discover about each other?



If someone cared too much in the end and someone else didn't care at all who is the one more entitled to have a new hope soon? Who is the one more likely to have it? Who is the one more likely to be ready sooner? And if someone didn't care at all and behaves like a jerk in the aftermath of the story, is s/he entitled to love again? Is the one suffering the most instead and caring the most also the one who deserves a new love sooner?


Where is the fairness? Who decides? Is that only chance, is that merit? Is that luck? Or maybe is that some people are in better places than others and decide what they want and make the first person who comes along the 'right one' because they need a 'right one' for their personal purposes?


And is there some sort of fairness in love that can let us hope that what comes around goes around, or is it just a blind trick of destiny everytime you get yourself heartbroken? Is there a goddess of fortune that sooner or later kisses everyone or it that just a wheel that responds to statistics and reason?

 

It seems to me that fairness and love cannot be in the same path, ever.
And you are bound to think like me if you ever poured your heart in a love story with someone undeserving, if you kept on facing a love pulsing into your veins when the other person had instead moved forward without caring of you leaning there destroyed, if you ever saw the other person that couldn't care less, now having it all, while you are still fighting demons and committing the same mistakes over and over again.

This is not Fairness, not even luck. This is just a demoniac wheel of fortune that allocates good luck and love without perceiving feelings or guilts or merits, that drags people onto a train for love without assessing if they have or not the real capacity for love and if they are ready or not and if there is someone more ready at all and more deserving.


What terrifies me is that however much you try, it seems you cannot fight. And still, I do want to believe that what goes around comes around sooner or later.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

INSOMNIA HITS AGAIN!

I'm trying to sleep, but the voices in my head are too loud, and I'm remembering all those things that I've done. So I turn to my side and face the wall, and breathe slowly. Close my eyes, open them, close them once more. I see THAT face now, you know, the one I told you about. Now, I know I won't be able to sleep. I suppose this is why most  people are insomniacs; the voices won't go away, the memories keep coming back, and people haunt them in the darkness of the night. I turn the lights on, sit on the edge of my bed and cry. Just a little bit, just to make it easier to breathe. I turn the lights off and try to sleep again... 
It's going to be a long night..




END...

WAY TO DESTINATION!

Life is a mystery.
We sometimes don't find the path.
We always think where is my destination?

Yes and on one fine morning you find your goal.
Your inner voice shows you the way.

You take the first step towards our destination.
This path may not be smooth always
There may be struggles, hurdles
But when you keep on walking this path becomes more and more beautiful

But wherever you go,
Don't forget to spread flowers of your goodness
for the new passerby who will walk on that path

CHANGING TIMES

It is very hard to believe the change in time... it shows good things...bad things...worse and worst... all forms of bad are thrown in front of us... we cry out to ourself.. sometimes to others too .. but then the heart has always one thought in mind .. y do things happen to us... y do we keep on facing troubles and others seem to make a pleasant living in themselves... the mind makes a lot of decisions and the heart refuses to take them.. we vent out on our buddies ... we shout at them and make a mockery of things... and even we swear at them for not being with us at our times of need... we make a long list of complaints at the person whom we love.. we shout..we cry...we laugh and we sulk ....and this part - the sulking thing .. the after effects of love,battle, fights... and much more makes a huge part of our life... many of us life sulking and some dun sulk.. some for a longer duration and some jus wrap it off in a jiffy .... some incidents in our lives are at our eye-fronts every time.. and some are off our last thoughts... some things lie college... friends ... the pet names... the wars... the food.. the drinks - booze ... the smokes.. the roadside tapris... and much more all play their role in our life.. and none of us are exempted of these situations. .. everyone of us face it ... see it ... blurt it .. and then of course remember it when we miss them... this is what is the time-cycle... the changes and flanges of life... we love making mistakes... every time we look back into those cute emotions and times that we left behind just in the wake of another new day and a passing away dusk, we are enlightened by the factuals that happened .... the makes and breaks of past has an enduring effect on the present and then the truth or we can say the realizations are done... we see a lot and do a lot ... much aware and much unaware... so this is what life is ... it changes every moment ... every second ... every blink makes us think different .. and no two blinks are the same .... times have changed and it feels good to look back into those memories .. feels like reliving them ... atleast we want to go thru them in a summary ...


with the times changing and bigger and better things expected to come... we all shackle under this change and we all feel insecure... changing times make us feel bad-worse-good..everything ... the past has a turmoil over us... we go crazy ... we go mad ..... we all have seen stuffs happening around us ... we all see things with others .... and keeping ourself strong amongst the crowd is tough ... things get easy when we forget... but not all things are to be forgotten. ....


i know m talking crap... i m just not in the normal self ... somethings are really taking my attention off me .... things will settle down ... they should ... :) .... take care .... be good....

LEAVE ME ON MY OWN!

Because 99% of the world around me thinks that me being the 'Goody two shoes' is being a big show off and that I am fake.

Because, I lose my temper very often, and end up crying, and therefore it means that whatever I say makes absolutely no sense AT all and that I am always wrong.


Because I happen to have a great boss who doesn't like working late, therefore doesn't expect me to be in office till 1 am to show the fact that I work hard- and that seems like an indulgence to certain people and they feel that I don't work 'hard enough', they forget the fact that- more often than not- I work from till late night and that does not even count as working late and therefore I don't even get the benefit of coming late the night after I have worked till wee hours.


Because I love to talk. Just generally chat up. And add to the woes, the fact that I can't let people be judgmental about the people that I am with therefore I am open to a select few and those select few don't normally have time for my 'idle chat'


Because I live in a fantasy world and believe in Happy Endings but end up being a overtly negative person.. again my arguments about where when and why are thrown outta the window!


Because I am always wrong. My reasons of doing an act are always always wrong.


Because I do not feel appreciated by the people, who I would love to hear and who I would tell me that they are proud of me.


Because it feels super yuck to not to feel loved!


But then, I guess there will always be people who will tell me down.. I just hope that those people don't include my own loved ones.

I know how hard it is to get one 'Good girl, proud of you' kind of a comment out from my parents.. All I am is a bunch of qualities which people think are a waste and that I am double faced and double standard...
But I am me.
Love me,
hate me.. as hard as I try to be the person who everyone wants to be- in the end it is ME, who should matter to you, if you love me- even with , my odd silly attitude!


P.S- relatives annoy to the core hence ended up doing something soooo irrelevant to my habits, i.e  praising myself !:(:(

Thursday, March 22, 2012

WHY DO I?

Why do I?
Slump in slime,
When I know it ain’t sublime.
In whose naivety -
Do I ponder?
For whose chastity-
Do I Launder?
Why do I?
Grump in grime,
When I know it ain’t mine.

 
Why do I?
Agonize evading darkness,
And scalded forest flames,
Counting befallen stars,
When I know –
There is nothing,
But smoldering ashes,
That dance in the barren.


Why do I?
Yearn for valiance,
And thoughtful radiance,
Amid countless tries and revolting failures,
When I know -
There ain’t any peaches and cream,
There aint any marshmallows or chocolate,
For I had learned:
‘Like the stony endless floor,
Life is lifeless!

IDK

DISCLAIMER : DO NOT READ THIS. And take me seriously when I warn you.

Someone told me at one point of time, ‘Always indulge in what you love the most, because when in a state of crisis it is that passion that keeps you solvent’…
I have been religiously practicing this philosophy for a long time now. And this philosophy has helped me in ways incredible and in ways unfathomable.
The state of crisis today is that of apathy and sloth. But now has come a time when my passion, if ever there was one, is no longer alive. It no longer rekindles the flame. It no longer gives me that push to do something.  To do something worthwhile (read: worthless for the rest of the world).
Yeah , today words fail  me and I (most miserably) fail them. (It’s entirely mutual, for a change).
 There is a yawning void staring at me. Not the void that would make you feel nostalgic or emotional or any of those things, but the void that will make you feel listless.  Yes, listless. It’s one crazy void.
And it’s not even that I don’t feel like doing anything, I want to do something (To shove off this inactivity); and in fact there IS a lot to do.  I am sure there is some surge simmering inside .But what? I do not know (idk)*. And even if I had known , it would have been  a ‘to do or not to do’ situation..
Idk what I am blabbering at this moment. I am just too convoluted,…with what? idk. :D. But I cannot care less. There are no thoughts and whatever some there were have all disappeared into thin air. Now who would give me company in this languid state? idk…
I have grown peevishly indolent, blatantly ignorant and perpetually insolent (WHAT a shameful attempt to rhyme)… about the world around me, including me. You do, you do not do, I do, I do not do…who cares???  Dayum Life*! It’s so good to be   nonexistent. In fact, I am the nonexistent.

PS: You cannot blame me for this post, Courtesy : the disclaimer.  And ,Hats off to you if you managed to come this far.
*PPS : idk = I don’t know ; Dayum = Damn (I  just learnt these slangs from someone. :D)
PPPS = I wrote this in one (listless) hour. Before posting this I had typed my other account’s password for blogger password! For a moment I was like-“Dayum! idk my password!”
 Phewww…Anyway,so much for a listless talk.

RIGHT THNGS

Need - A four letter word leading to so many things in this world. Everything happens for a need. Fight - need to prove that you're right, eat - need to live, smile - need to be happy, cry - need to give it off from your heart.

Everything happens for a need and in turn gives rise to a new need. A person who has money will need love, a person who has love will need some more love. The need will never satisfy.

We human beings will know it better then anybody the meaning of 'need' which makes us so selfish,self centered at times that we tend to ignore everything. We forget others are human beings too. Everybody is needy. We think about our own selves.

Even a father scolding his son for his bad performance in exams has a selfish interest at times when he says 'what will people say now ?'

We get so selfish at times that we don't realize what are we doing. Remember the last time you lied to save your skin ; I'm sure it isn't far away. It saves your for a moment but at the cost of something. Once again you betray yourself. The easiest one can do - to betray oneself.

Everything we do is for us. We don't think about others. Nobody really does.

Someday back i read about Mother Teresa's home at Pune, people donate some clothes there. I saw people who couldn't speak properly,some mentally ill, some crippled for life but still helping each other out,considerate towards each other,a nun sitting in between all of them and feeding them medicines. And i could just say one thing 'And we grudge about things'. Guys, I'm not telling you to be a saint,with so many things on our head I'm sure we can never be, but the least we can do is be considerate towards everybody forgetting about our needs, our selfish motive at times, putting our need at stake at times when we sometime see the person more needy then us. Some of you may question , what's the point ? Try doing it , the way you will feel after it will be the answer. You'll be happy with things internally but of course at a cost,at the cost of your need. You'll feel like a better person because you'll know in some way or the other you've helped the world getting a bit better..:-)

Be good, do good, be one !!

ALL IT TAKES

All it takes for me to smile is hear you say I did something right,

All I need sometimes is one tight hug to make it allrite.

A few true words, to cheer me up,

They convince me that maybe life doesn't completely suck.

I don't need expensive gifts, nor do I ask for exotic things,

A simple 'I Was Just Thinking Of  You' will do,

Coz maybe I was thinking about you too!

A simple Good Morning can make my day start off with a smile,

Because forwards may make me laugh but they only last a while.

I don't want you to move me some mountain or name a star after me,

Just your talking to me makes me happy!

All I want is to know that you will always be there for me,

I'm not asking for too much, can't you see?

I mean it when I say that all I need to be happy is for you to always be there for me,

Genuinely liking me, caring for me.. That is what makes me happy!

That is all it takes!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

THAT NIGHT

That night was dark
The streets were empty
I was out in the city
My life followed me to the cemetry

There was silece there

After that violence here
There was no fragrance newhere
But there was sadness evrywhere

Still no desire to vengeance somebody

There was no reverence left for anybody

It felt as if I was out on a venture

As only i culd feel it rupture
My heart tore apart
With no pieces You depart
It left me shattered
As no1 else mattered
Happiness faded
Wait , Wait , Wait , I got jaded

That night seemed so long

Don't know what went wrong
Left all alone , culdn't move along
Culdn't moan
Culdn't even groan
Just waiting for that dawn

Hope that that dawn will bring you back

All I want is sack , sack , sack!  that nite
I knw it wunt  bring you back but just in case evrything gets alrite!!!!

FOREVER'S GONE!


It was nearing midnight and my mood was surprisingly languid, it was that particular moment when I didn’t feel like thinking or following the practicalities of life and society but to let my mind and heart reel freely. I sat there perching besides the window seating idly murmuring songs that seemed like some incoherent mumbling but it hardly mattered as I had none to please and just soothe myself.

 It was in moments like these when I wondered how it would feel to revel in you and bask in your love, to love and to be loved back by you! But tonight astonishingly a certain unknown fear gripped me amplifying my pulse rate turning my beat and breath erratic, it was then that I realized that I was too sensitive and terribly lonely; I somehow didn’t realize when the phase from being social turned solitary but it sure was a gradual process. In a flash love seemed a farfetched thing and all that I needed now was a friend, a person who befriended me despite my flaws, my uncanny nature and my fickle mood swings because even I was no ideal perfect person. Letting out a sigh I crawl back to my bed and wait for weariness to take over and lull me to sleep taking me to the world of dreams where life though is not full of glee but someone somewhere is there with me.

In moments of despair,
It’s not always love that you need,
It’s just a true and caring friend that will suffice.

BEYOND OBLIVATION


There are moments when somethings on my mind but I just can't rhyme,
So forgive me these few brief awkward lines,

You're the only one now left,
Who I don't really wanna lose,
Though I know I can be too childish at times,
Or my words too sarcastic to digest for you...
But I ain't the one with attitude who can't change,
It's just I'm needy and too hurt that I can't bear,
And all I want from you is just a bit of love and care...

Gifts and pleasures I don't long,
As your friendship has been my greatest treasure all along.

NOTHING MATTERED




Sweet as sixteen,
Lavish was her living,
Innocent and carefree she was…
Eschewed from the worldly harm,
She was secure in her haven!

Rough and rugged,
Life was an utter mess,
Lost and forlorn he was…
Dying day in and day out,
Struggling to make ends meet!

Different like chalk and cheese they were,
Pride and honour she exuded,
And people watched her in awe…
Disgrace and derision trickled,
When he crossed the very same path!

Like a wisp of air,
She came in his crumpled life,
Caressing his dripping wounds…
Showering love and care,
She gave him a new life!

Hugs and kisses he smothered,
Saying money was not his pleasure,
Basking and gleaming in his love…
Missing the greed in his eyes,
She fantasized a fairytale!

Clouded by dismay and despair,
Her cries tore her apart,
Breaking her like glass…
Leaving her barren and frozen,
They now call her an ice maiden!

She had loved him dearly,
But he didn’t really care,
Wishful had turned wistful…
With tears pelting from her eyes,
Yet they couldn’t melt the hardened ice!

Lusting for her fortune,
Slitting her soul,
He walked in azure…
Blood dripping like rain,
The stains on his hands shined unashamed!

Devoid of emotions,
He was now a voracious soul,
Faltering in the neon red lights…
Drinking and squandering,
He gave himself to a wench!

Nothing was his and all in vain,
Laughing at his own madness,
He fuddled all day and night…
Losing his own self,
He walked the long dark abyss!

Squashed by his guilt,
Clutching his head he fell to the ground…
Tears blurring his vision,
He drowned in his pain…
Till death finally came!

UNANSWERED FEELINGS

Life can sure be cruel at times. As the human nature goes, it always wants more; more of everything.
One such greediness of the human nature is of to be liked and loved by more and more people. Also, a person always wants to be in the priority list of the person who is in his/her priority list.

But there are certain times when your feelings are not answered. You may love and respect a person very much but there is no guarantee that the person loves you back.
Sometimes, even when we know that we are not as important to a person as he/she is to us, even then we choose to be by their side and also end up getting hurt.

On the other hand, there are people who like and love you dearly, but you don't have the same feelings for them. You very well know that they will give you all the happiness you need but even then you run after the people who you treat as a priority not after the ones who treats you as their priority!

I always wondered why the human nature is so? Even after getting hurt, we still long for those people who hurt us rather than staying up with the people who love us, who treats us more nicely!

For me these are the "Unanswered Feelings." It's good if they are answered though. But I highly doubt they do! Have you ever been in a similar situation?

PS: I am not sure if this holds true for everyone. This is all my personal thinking and analysis. And I really don't know why I am even writing this post!

YOUR GIRL

I'm your girl who makes you wild,
the one who makes you feel like a child,
the girl who makes your heart run like a train,
the one who gives a freeze to your brain.

I'm your girl who sets your nights on fire,
the one who fills up your days with desire,
the girl who makes you sing better than birds,
the one who gives you a run for your words.

I'm your girl who makes a home out of your house,
the one who you feel proud to call spouse,
the girl who makes your incompleteness go away,
the one who without a drink makes your body sway.

I'm your girl who is a wife and a friend,
the one with whom you'll never have to pretend.
I'm your lovely jeanie dressed for you in blue,
I'm your everything, I'm your dream come true.

GOODBYE

Is it time for goodbye?
Is it time for farewell?
Time to part ways?
No smiles anymore
No glances across the room
No pleasure in company
Going through the motions
Maintaining the facade
Nods and smiles and happy faces
While reality lies hidden
Locked safely away
Maybe it's time to let go?
Time to move on?
Is it already time for goodbye?

ADDICTION

Some addictions are worse than cigarettes or drugs.

What I'm talking about is addiction to a person. Because what it does is give you expectations. You can't expect anything from cigarettes or from weed. You can't expect alcohol to make conversation. You don't expect heroin to love you back. You can buy all of the above for varying amounts of money.


But an addiction to a person is different. You hope. You wish. You dream. And you expect.


You want reciprocation. You want acceptance. And since the addiction isn't to a something, but a someone, there is a whole set of different ideas and perceptions to deal with. While cigarettes and alcohol do not come with hopes and dreams of their own, human beings do. And while all cigarettes are essentially the same and so is all alcohol, humans, every single one of them, are different. Every single one of them comes with a story, baggage, perceptions and more. With cigarettes and alcohol and all the others, the fix is in your control. But with a person, how can you expect to have any control? And while you can throw away a cigarette, pour the alcohol away or blow the weed into the wind, what do you do with a person, a physical entity?


Some addictions are definitely worse than others. And they don't even come with a cure.

I WISH...


It was tough to be ready again,
To start believing that I could love someone
Without being cheated on..
And you strengthened that hope by assuring to come along.
I was so naive..opened up all my secrets and fears to you,
And you promised not to be like the ones
Who hurt and left me bleeding.
That moment made me trust you somehow..
But where has it gone ?
I cant blame you for what I’m going through now,
Because it is all my fault..
I started hearing the things you never said,
Just to realize now that they are the sweetest imaginations..
You’ve never felt anything the way I have.
Maybe, I’ve been dreaming with my eyes open..
Hoping it could be real someday.
I’m too blinded to see that you don’t even care
To understand me..
That I’m the last person on earth you’d ever think about..
I struggle to remind you of my presence each day
That I am someone you can count on.
I made wishes on every tear that rolled down my cheeks
On the uncounted sleepless nights.
With everything that happens to me,
I silently wish there will be a time
When I’ll share all my Good and Bad moments with you,
And we would laugh or frown together on them.
Everytime I close my eyes at 11:11,
I wish for the same thing over and over again
Which I fear I would never get.
Baby now I’ve started praying that you’d say
Those four words to me..
Not Three but Four, To bring me back on ground
From the fantasy land I’ve been living in so long..
Where all I see is You n Me..
I hope you’d tell me
‘I Don’t Like You’.
Please lend your voice to these words,
I’ll accept them with the broadest smile..
And you wont hear the sound
Of an air castle built of dreams crash down.
This be my last and only request to you.

FINALLY RESTORING TO NORMAL


I haven't been blogging much.
I feel like I've abandoned the one place I love so much..
Its all because of the wordy complications and the mess I created on my own.
My Mistake? I started caring what people thought about whatever I wrote. Felt miserable about saying somethings, not saying somethings and saying things at the wrong time!
Now after so many days of escapism, I decided I couldn't just let what "they" think mess with my mind!
This blog is my place where i'm gonna say whatever I want about whoever and not be worried about the consequences.. I wont let someone take away my power.
Also, the reason of this absence was lack of inspiration. but now I've found my Muse. The one that no one can take away :)
So I shall share my heart hopefully more often now.

Its time to have a Good Life again, minus the crap!