FAIRNESS VS LOVE
Is that true that the first one to get back in the game, the first one to fall in love again or to simply fall in a relationship is the winning one?
Is that true that there is an unspoken rule between exes, 'who will die miserable?', meaning that who finds someone first and gets back in the love game is the winning one in the competition? Is there really a competition?
And can it be true that who wins this competition is also the one who got the right approach to the break-up and to the story itself? Is that possible that if you don't find anyone 'right' before the other person does, that means that you deserve it less or that you were the one to blame or that you got all wrong and that you are tangled in some perception of your past story that is completely wrong?
Is there a winner when two persons break up, or are they both losers with respect to whatever they used to have and don't have anymore and to what they will never discover about each other?
If someone cared too much in the end and someone else didn't care at all who is the one more entitled to have a new hope soon? Who is the one more likely to have it? Who is the one more likely to be ready sooner? And if someone didn't care at all and behaves like a jerk in the aftermath of the story, is s/he entitled to love again? Is the one suffering the most instead and caring the most also the one who deserves a new love sooner?
Where is the fairness? Who decides? Is that only chance, is that merit? Is that luck? Or maybe is that some people are in better places than others and decide what they want and make the first person who comes along the 'right one' because they need a 'right one' for their personal purposes?
And is there some sort of fairness in love that can let us hope that what comes around goes around, or is it just a blind trick of destiny everytime you get yourself heartbroken? Is there a goddess of fortune that sooner or later kisses everyone or it that just a wheel that responds to statistics and reason?
It seems to me that fairness and love cannot be in the same path, ever.
And you are bound to think like me if you ever poured your heart in a love story with someone undeserving, if you kept on facing a love pulsing into your veins when the other person had instead moved forward without caring of you leaning there destroyed, if you ever saw the other person that couldn't care less, now having it all, while you are still fighting demons and committing the same mistakes over and over again.
This is not Fairness, not even luck. This is just a demoniac wheel of fortune that allocates good luck and love without perceiving feelings or guilts or merits, that drags people onto a train for love without assessing if they have or not the real capacity for love and if they are ready or not and if there is someone more ready at all and more deserving.
What terrifies me is that however much you try, it seems you cannot fight. And still, I do want to believe that what goes around comes around sooner or later.